One thing I've noticed as I go through this writing process on a daily basis is that my routine tends to be to open up a new blank post on blogspot, then stare at it for a few minutes while thinking about how to write about that day's topic. Already, in a week and a half I've noticed that I'm no longer intimidated by a blank page, as I was staring at it just now I thought of it more as an empty canvas than as some type of video game boss that I had to figure out how to conquer. It's interesting how writing for enjoyment rather than on assignment has so quickly changed my view on the process.
As for the day's chosen topic competitiveness, I want to start by saying that I've lived the majority of of my life under the impression that every human has a basic human instinct of competitiveness (although to some varying degree depending on the person), and that people who describe themselves as not being competitive are for whatever reason, holding back their instincts to be competitive. Now there's a few assumptions that I'm operating under so I should probably go back and define those so as to not seem like a complete ass on the internet.
First off, competitiveness is defined in my head as if you're in a situation where there is a clear winner and a clear loser, you would rather be the winner than the loser and when the outcome is decided you will be happier for having won than lost. Secondly, when I say that competitiveness is instinctual, I think of it on an almost evolutional level, where men are striving to prove themselves as more manly to attract females and potentially vis-a-versa. Lastly, this doesn't mean that in the case of victory, the winner has the right to degrade other people or make fun of the losers, and it also doesn't mean that the loser can give excuses or blame his teammates or whatever. The basic rule is, gracious in victory, gracious in defeat.
Now, maybe I'm mistaken in my assumption that everyone is competitive, I've certainly met a few people and even call a few of those people my friends that say they aren't competitive (although, in my experience, get them in the right circumstances and they are, in fact, very competitive), but I should probably leave room for them to exist in this universe.
What I really want to get at with today's writing is the question of, what causes a person to be more competitive than others? Why does society seem to frown on those who are competitive?
I've been told more than a few times that I was overly competitive, and from my viewpoint I always thought "either be in a competition and give 100% effort or don't be in it at all", now my viewpoint was and is maybe too simplistic, but is that viewpoint really too much to ask? I think I might be coming off as being whiney about this all and I'm totally okay with that, sometimes we as a society value feelings too much. Get beat by too much and your feelings might be hurt, try too hard and people label you as 'that kid' in gym class. Why do we treat getting beat as a bad thing? Shouldn't we turn that into motivation to become better? Isn't an honest realization of our shortcomings and then turning that shortcoming into a strength through hardwork and perseverance one of the greatest things a human can do?
I don't know, I'm a tryhard at heart and I always try to excel at the things I do. If there's one thing that I know about myself, it's that I sometimes lack motivation to work at things, but one thing that's motivated me as always been a competitive spirit, is that so bad?
In the words of Forrest Gump, "And that's about all I've got to say about that." It's interesting that a thing like writing that has no competitive aspect about it, I still manage a way to make it competitive. I catch myself watching my view counter to see if people are liking my writing, when the whole point of this project was to do a thing for myself not in the view of anyone else. Sometimes I love my own competitiveness and sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I do both in the same paragraph.
No big conclusions today, just some drawn out thoughts on a subject. Oh well, not every day has a conclusion.
'Til Tomorrow
-A
Tomorrow: Cognitive Dissonance (at least I think that's the term for what I'm thinking about)
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